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Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Pornification: Weekend of 2/17 – 2/19

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What has happened to our pornography?! It used to be you could pick up a title in the little room behind the curtain and get a slight chuckle to go along with your slight chubby. Porn companies used to spend coked up minutes (which is like hours for the rest of us) coming up with [...]

Pornification: The Top 10 Porno Puns of Today

Thumbnail : Pornification: The Top 10 Porno Puns of Today

What has happened to our pornography?! It used to be you could pick up a title in the little room behind the curtain and get a slight chuckle to go along with your slight chubby. Porn companies used to spend coked up minutes (which is like hours for the rest of us) coming up with [...]

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We’ll be back with a new article from DLamp tomorrow.

The Ten Most Beautiful Women in Dallas 2011: A Retort

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Vertigo’s The Mist Reviews “The Ten Most Beautiful Women In Dallas 2011” generated a substantial amount of traffic last month.  I’m confident many were the very trollops being ridiculed who, whilst feverishly googling themselves, “stumbled upon” our oasis of e-hate and foolishly drank from its foul waters of truth.  Oh the humanity! But for one [...]

The “Urbanization” of Our National Anthem

The NHL’s Winter Classic was held yesterday and all I can recall from the entire telecast was the horrific defecation that took place before the puck was dropped… Even though P.L.’s intro was a stark harbinger of what was to come, “…and winner of BET, NAACP and many other performing awards…”, I foolishly remained hopeful [...]

America: Where You Matter…If Only For Awhile

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Where to begin… I guess one of the bigger stories of the year was that we killed the supposed Lord Vader of the Jihadists; a man with so much influence and power that when finally ambushed his squirrelly ass it wasn’t at some palatial fortress surrounded by loyalists armed to the teeth ready to die [...]

The Mist Reviews “The Ten Most Beautiful Women In Dallas 2011”

Thumbnail : The Mist Reviews “The Ten Most Beautiful Women In Dallas 2011”

Now this should be outstanding. Dallas at its best: creating awards for something completely arbitrary that doesn’t matter. In all fairness, if I have any connection to these women I’d be proud of that fact. I mean who doesn’t value the opinion of D Magazine? Anyway let’s fire this up, I’m sure the voting was [...]

A Photo Essay Of My Building

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I know everyone is revved up for the long weekend full of tryptophan and certainly doesn’t want to read much, so a photo essay is in order. Lots of pictures and little words! My building deserves to be taken down a peg, this place is ripe for your arrows. Of course all of these were [...]

A Level 3 Audit of Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jagger”

Thumbnail : A Level 3 Audit of Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jagger”

I haven’t done an audit in quite a while, because after a certain point the same topic is being drilled: today’s music and the music industry in general is pathetic. I mean it would take quite a noteworthy piece of shit to warrant an audit right? Whoa, a song with tons of electronic drums and [...]

Link Of The Weak

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“Bedlam erupts on Penn State campus” Link Goodness. The rage of the societal turds who encompass Occupy Wall Street suddenly seem completely sane and well-focused. Lets face it, there’s a lot of ambiguity in, “I saw Coach Sandusky porking a kid in the keister”, Joe-Pa. Penn State made the right call. Even his offer to [...]

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